On my drive into work this morning, I hit some pretty terrible traffic (there’s a whole story there…. Long story short: fuel tanker exploded right before morning commute in the middle of the beltway near the city yesterday… it’s turned traffic into a disaster and isn’t expected to be fixed for months!). Anyway, it turned out to be a blessing today because I got to catch Dr. Jenn Berman’s segment on Cosmo Radio. I had downloaded her app a few months ago (No More Diets- it’s a MUST READ). I needed the reminder, though, that listening to my body is the most important and necessary thing for me to do for myself. It also gave me a chance to reflect on just how much self-deprecating self-talk that I really do. It’s a lot!
So, here’s my focus today. I’m going to recommit to the blend of the No More Diets methodology and my tips and tricks from my TIU lifestyle and start really taking care of my body and self. I’m going to write out some examples of the main ways I find myself diving into negative self-talk and I will commit to ways to turn this around. I know I beat up on myself with this negative self-talk every day… how sad is that! I realize how I spend so much time supporting and building up my family and friends but only ever tear myself apart. I realized that (being the visual person I am), I need to actually see examples of how I do this to myself and how I can combat that.
You know what? I know for a fact I’m NOT the only person that does this to myself. I hope that I can encourage even one person to think through their own list and figure out their own ways to combat the self-deprecating and self-esteem diminishing thoughts.
- Pictures. Immediately, I focus in on all of the physical features about myself that I hate. I pick myself apart! It’s so sad that I treat myself that way.
So, I am challenging myself to find 3 things that I love about myself in each photo that I see of myself. No more focusing on negatives!!
- Conversations. I automatically replay them in my head to find every flaw. Even further, I will remind myself of every flaw literally forever.
Next time I realize I’m doing this, I commit to finding 2-3 examples of how I executed well in that conversation. I will find points to focus on about how I handled myself well.
- Comparing myself to others. I realize this is pretty common, but that’s no excuse (for me or for you!!).
I am committing to recognizing and respecting how we are all different from each other and how no one is any better than anyone else. Just different!
- I literally convince myself that others are focusing on my every single flaw when I’m talking to them. I’m just certain they are zeroing in on everything wrong!
Why?? As I sit here and think about it, I’m realizing that the other person is likely doing the exact same thing about themselves. We are all self-conscious about things. I’m going to remind myself that rather than them focusing on any “flaws”, they just might be focusing on how great they think I am or focusing in on a characteristic I have that maybe they wish they could see in themselves as well.
- I’m always telling myself that whomever I am talking to or in a room with his much smarter than I am, they know more about whatever we are talking about or doing, etc.
No. I am an expert at what I do. I know the projects I am working on and I have my own ideas. Instead of feeling like others will have better ideas than me, I will remember that they just have a different perspective and they are reflecting on ideas and concepts from their own experience. It makes no ones ideas or thought processes any better than another.
- When I’m given feedback, I get super defensive and take it soooo personally. I tend to separate myself from people because I feel in adequate! That’s really sad, right?
I need to take a step back. When I feel that way, I need to table the discussion for a minute if that’s what it comes down to… but I will work on realizing that the feedback is intended to be constructive and that it is not a reflection on me as a person. I will focus on my confidence and feeling assured in my decisions and myself.
- I literally never make decisions on where to eat, what time to leave, what to do, etc. I’m too afraid it’s not what the other person wants to do!
I will remember this…. Whenever someone makes a decision on what to do, etc., I always go along with it. Even if it’s not what I really wanted to do, I find a way to make it work for me. They can do that too!!! If my decision isn’t want they necessarily wanted to do, that person can find a way to make it work for them. Or worst case? They will make an alternative suggestion and we can go from there.
- I literally hide behind my hands when I talk to others and I show my nervousness.
Like a true Tone It Up girl, I will focus on improving my posture to exude confidence!
Thanks for letting me vet this out! Xo